{"id":22572,"date":"2022-07-05T14:28:54","date_gmt":"2022-07-05T14:28:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.kite47.com\/?p=22572"},"modified":"2022-07-05T14:32:48","modified_gmt":"2022-07-05T14:32:48","slug":"i-told-him-my-history-of-depression-and-my-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kite47.com\/index.php\/2022\/07\/05\/i-told-him-my-history-of-depression-and-my-4\/","title":{"rendered":"I told him my history of depression and my reluctance to get back on anti-depressants"},"content":{"rendered":"I told him my history of depression and my reluctance to get back on anti-depressants<\/title><\/p>\n<h2>The majority of them, I don’t even remember but I recall a feeling of overall satisfaction with most of them<\/h2>\n<p>I went to a psychiatrist about 7 months ago for the first time in a long time (my mom urged me to do it). He acknowledged that but based on some of my statements throughout and some question he asked me, he said I may also suffer from ADD. I wasn’t crazy about the idea of more <a href=\"https:\/\/installmentloansvirginia.net\/cities\/salem\/\">https:\/\/installmentloansvirginia.net\/cities\/salem\/<\/a> pills again but it was a different approach so I thought I’d at least try it out.<\/p>\n<p>A started off taking it as directed(30mg\/once daily). Having never used amphetamines or any kind of stimulant prior to this, Vyvanse was an utterly new experience. As a lot of people will attest, the initial results were amazing. The mild euphoria and \u201cpush\u201d I got from just 30mgs was actually helpful at first, I’d say. My psychiatrist seemed to agree so he decided to keep me on it.<\/p>\n<p>Shortly thereafter, I started pondering possible benefits of upping the dose. Regardless of being fully aware of the fact that it’s basically diluted speed, I felt compelled to at least try it once. I did a little research before-hand (wish I would have found this site then..) and determined that it probably wouldn’t land me in the hospital. Satisfied with that knowledge, I doubled my next dose. Of course, that push was intensified substantially. I felt motivated to do all sorts of things. I ended up playing my guitar for a couple of hours. Pretty much until my fingers started getting sore. My mind was spitting out all sorts of ideas, left and right.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Trying to wrap this up here… As you figure, it wasn’t long before this turned into a semi-regular thing. The self-medicating started again. The fact that it’s a prescription drug made it somewhat easier to justify to myself. Pretty twisted, but I now see that as some of the first indications of this addiction.<\/p>\n<p>When I started losing a visible amount of weight, I told myself to lay off it a bit. Of course, that has proved easier said than done. I held off for three or four days before caving. After repeating this process a few times with basically the same results, I just slowly started accepting the addiction, in a way. I started to accommodate it, without the shame. This is probably the most pivotal point of change in my personality and mentality. This went on for a bit, all the while, I slipped further and further into this hole and not even really realizing just how deep it was getting. It took a couple pretty intense withdrawal spells to come to some serious realizations of what this horrible drug has really done to me.<\/p>\n<p>Even in all my unhappiness and dissatisfaction prior to Vyvanse, I had some level of respect for myself. In my darkest days, I’d never considered suicide as a solution. In the drug’s tightest grip, I could feel myself declining towards what feels like passive suicide and yet, I couldn’t say no to it.<\/p>\n<h2>Truth be told I still can’t really say no to it, but something has changed<\/h2>\n<p>I definitely had a wake-up call. Not sure how I’m going to go about it yet, but I’m going talk to my psychiatrist about it one way or another.<\/p>\n<p>Thanks for creating this site. There are a lot of online resources for stimulant abuse but nothing quite as specialized and intensive as this. I’ve bookmarked it and plan on reading more of it ASAP.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I told him my history of depression and my reluctance to get back on anti-depressants The majority of them, I don’t even remember but I recall a feeling of overall satisfaction with most of them I went to a psychiatrist about 7 months ago for the first time in a long time (my mom urged<a class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/kite47.com\/index.php\/2022\/07\/05\/i-told-him-my-history-of-depression-and-my-4\/\"> […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3137],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kite47.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22572"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kite47.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kite47.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kite47.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kite47.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22572"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kite47.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22572\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22573,"href":"https:\/\/kite47.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22572\/revisions\/22573"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kite47.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22572"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kite47.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22572"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kite47.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22572"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}